Inbox for phantasmalrift

[makejapangreat]

Pls designate date in header.

Comments

[makejapangreat]

Ah. In that case, I hope your sacrifice wasn't in vain?

[foolishjustice]

I made sure that a couple people who fell asleep got back to their rooms without being drawn on, at least. I think it was worth it...but if I don't recover, make sure I'm remembered as I was.

[makejapangreat]

Akechi, while I do appreciate the attempt at civility with me, I do have to admit I'm rather confused by the back-and-forth between your tolerance and anger. Could you please explain to me what's going on?

[foolishjustice]

[...This reply might take a while, Shido. Much longer than it should, given its length.]

To put it simply, I'm dealing with some heavily conflicting emotions right now. There's a lot I'm still angry at you for, but the fact that I have some positive memories of you now isn't without impact.

[makejapangreat]

[... yeah, his own reply is taking awhile, too.]

Perhaps it would help to talk about it?

[foolishjustice]

I doubt it, at least not at this point. I doubt I'd make much sense if I tried.

[makejapangreat]

Very well. Take your time with it.

[foolishjustice]

Right. I'll tell you when I've managed to make sense of it. For now, I hope my struggles haven't left you thinking I didn't mean what I said on my birthday.

[makejapangreat]

No, not at all. I can tell you've sincerely been trying to rein yourself in. Such conflicting emotions can only be expected, given everything.

[foolishjustice]

[Again, the message takes a while to arrive.]

That's relieving. I was a little concerned, considering your reaction when I snapped at you earlier.

[makejapangreat]

[The message takes long enough it almost might seem that Shido wasn't going to, or got caught up in something else.]

That isn't me doubting your sincerity. You aren't the only one who's struggling. It would hardly be fair of me to think you didn't mean what you said, especially after you'd just seen your phobia.

I expected perfection from you before, but never again.

[foolishjustice]

About that. I think I've recovered enough from the shock to try to approach my fear directly, now.

[makejapangreat]

Alright. Though, before we jump into this, I suggest we come up with a strategy. Where should we do this? How do you want to start? And of course, what should the overall end goal be?

[foolishjustice]

We should start outside, maybe between the station and the forest? When I was executed, I was in a closed tank, so I might be able to handle it better if I'm in a wide open space. It also fits my starting goal, being able to stay calm while able to see a big cat, when I still have enough distance that it can't reach me right away.

In the end, I want to be able to stay calm at close range. I am going to have to fight things that resemble lions much larger than you, so it won't do if I have to keep my distance to stay rational.

[makejapangreat]

Then I'll head outside now. How about I lay down to start with, and if you feel like you're ready for me to push you a bit further, you can raise a hand to signal to me. Similarly, if I end up accidentally pressing too much, you can wave your hand, and I'll back off.

Does that sound reasonable?

[foolishjustice]

I should be able to manage that even if I don't manage to stay calm.

I'll be out in a few minutes.

--> action

[makejapangreat]

[It's a little warm for his tastes, truthfully, but he finds the heat a little more tolerable in his lion form. Actually... quite a bit more tolerable? The sun even feels nice... So he flops right onto the grass and on his side, tail thumping against the ground.]

[foolishjustice]

[It's too warm for Goro's tastes too, but it's not like this is a picnic. He takes a deep breath before he steps outside, steeling himself for the fear...and manages to avoid the kneejerk impulse to run when he sees the lion flopped in the grass. Unfortunately, that's all he manages, standing frozen in place.

This could take a while.]

[makejapangreat]

[When Shido hears those footsteps, he rolls over and looks up from his spot to see Akechi standing there, looking petrified. He knows it's a phobia, so it's not rational, but... maybe some part of his brain will ease up, just a little bit, if Shido isn't focused on him?

So he goes back to laying on his side, resembling a lazy house cat more than a giant, fearsome predator.]

[foolishjustice]

[He manages to avoid flinching when Shido looks at him, instead taking a deep breath. It takes an effort of will, but he manages to calm himself with reminders that he's not helpless this time. And, slowly, he manages to inch a little bit forward.]

[makejapangreat]

[His ear flicks a little at the sound of Akechi advancing. He carefully lies still except for the gentle flick of his tail...

Well, right up until a bug nearly flies up his nose and he gives a sneeze, his whole mane shaking with the brief, sudden movement.]

[foolishjustice]

[The key word there is sudden. He jumps at the movement, manifesting his wings in a moment of panic and flying to the roof of the station. If Shido looks up, he'll see Goro perched at the edge of the roof, wings bristling from fear.]

[makejapangreat]

[The sound of the wings flapping gets him to look up, and he tilts his head to see Goro on the rooftop. Ah...

He lays his head on the ground with his gaze still on Goro, looking reminiscent of a guilty dog. Sorry...]

[foolishjustice]

[Consciously, he knows he'd be safe up here even if the lion was aggressive. His adrenaline response, however, doesn't care. It's only his undead status that keeps his heart from pounding, his breath from racing. His wings fold around him defensively, and he squints his eyes shut.

He's not calling it quits yet, but it seems like he needs a moment before he tries again.]

[makejapangreat]

[He isn't surprised, truthfully. Given what he's pieced together and what he's been told... it's only natural that Goro's instincts are telling him to avoid Shido.

But patiently, he goes back to lying on his side, not moving except for the gentle up and down movement of his stomach as he breathes.]